so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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