you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
