I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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