do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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