It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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