I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
