So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
