hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
