Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
