I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
