I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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