Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
