Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
