I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he shaved USA in his pubs
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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