And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
