if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
vagina is talking i cant
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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