Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just cropdusted the office
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
