i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
