If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
