Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
