that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
