if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
