Duck Duck Cougar?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
