I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
