soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
