We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
