today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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