Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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