I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
