I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
