how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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