I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
