Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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