I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
