He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
