she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Are we still banned from the library?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
