THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
