Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
