Plan B is the new Plan A
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
