I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
