i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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