if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
