You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
