I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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