elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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