If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
