oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
