oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
