I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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