i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
