We won't sleep together?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Randomize
