My friends, they love my intelligence
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
