But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
