her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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